Your face is a jimmy john
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
