It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
