I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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