So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
