I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
