Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
