you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize