so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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