You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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