apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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