Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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