Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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