I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
