I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drunk is not a location!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
