it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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