I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
