I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
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I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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