Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Farmville is her only friend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Enjoy the penises
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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