Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
