and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
