I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
