Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
