what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
