I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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