i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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