the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
