dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer