If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
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Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says