I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.