Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...