so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
