he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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