you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
