once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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