my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
