So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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