Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Randomize
