This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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