wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
