Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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