a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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