cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
