I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
