Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
