I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
