You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
