We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
