Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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