i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
