is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
