i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
