Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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