I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
