Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
