Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
