i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
zippers are such a cool invention
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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