Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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