Dual....:-)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
