I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
