it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
