I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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