new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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