They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
