I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
