we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize