Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
