I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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