Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
from now on my penis is your penis
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
