No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
